I love taking a holistic look at growing a business. Visibility is about your message, media opportunities, content, and how you show up, but it is also very much about what is happening behind the scenes: your health, mental wellness, capacity, and nervous system.
I notice this in my own life all the time. Everything feels smoother when I am well rested and regulated. Getting kids out the door, juggling tight media deadlines, responding to an inbox that does not quit, making decisions, and showing up all feel more manageable when I am operating from a place of calm, not chaos.
When I’m regulated I communicate more clearly, make better decisions, and take up space differently. And when it comes to visibility, those things matters.
Jess Robson is a leadership and performance coach, specializing in nervous system regulation, emotional intelligence, and behaviour change. She works with leaders and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop performing at a fraction of their actual capacity. Below, Jess shares three ways getting regulated can help you become more visible with confidence, clarity, and impact.
Jess’s 10-week group coaching program, The Rewire, opens May 26.
Since Jenn and I connected in late April about all things PR + media, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the biggest hurdle to small business owners creating consistent visibility…and it isn’t what you’d expect.
It’s not the pitch, and it’s not the media kit. It’s not even the strategy…even though yes, those things can pose a challenge to business owners and an expert opinion (ahem…Jenn, for example!) can help make them less daunting puzzles to piece together.
But the biggest hurdle? It’s the person behind all of it; it’s us. You, and me; the founders, running on an often overloaded nervous system that’s trying to navigate what it means to feel safe to be seen.
THIS founder (me, hi!) needed Jenn to work through my own visibility; coupling her insight with my skills really unlocked some PR potential.
I digress 😉
I’m a leadership and performance coach, and the thing I come back to again and again with entrepreneurs is this: you can have the best story in the room or the most comprehensive toolkit of frameworks and soft skills…and still struggle to storytell, connect, express or lead if they’re all stacked on a wobbly nervous system that’s stuck stressin’.
This example—creating consistent visibility in PR + media—is another reason why I get on the soapbox of ‘Regulate Before You Communicate’; it’s a super power that unlocks the super potential of you and your business/brand.
SO – now that I’ve hopefully had you join me atop this soapbox, let’s chat through what regulation actually is, and why it might be the missing piece in your visibility strategy.
What Does “Regulated” Even Mean?
Contrary to popular (aka Instagram and TikTok) opinion, it’s not about being calm all the time (truly, that would be impossible…humans are too nuanced and dynamic of creatures to only ever be calm, Also: that would be kind of boring).
Regulation’s got a few parts; we look at it both emotionally and from a nervous system perspective.
Emotional regulation is the ability to witness an emotion rise in your body + brain, and work with it as it swells…instead of letting it work you. It’s the difference between acting from self-awareness + values alignment versus reactivity and moving on autopilot.
Nervous system regulation means your body and brain can experience stress then return to a steady, manageable state. As you work on regulating your nervous system, you grow your capacity for challenge (less ruffled by small things, for example) and hone your muscles that help you shift into the state required of you to perform (upregulating or down regulating), then return to your baseline when the pressure lifts.
When you’re regulated, you’re resourced: you can think clearly; communicate thoughtfully, intentionally and strategically; and take up the space you’ve actually earned. When you’re not, even the simplest visibility tasks—like writing a post, sending a pitch, showing up on camera—can feel like an Everest-sized challenge, and often be the things you’ll avoid or procrastinate the easiest.
Getting regulated’s got positive ripple effects in every aspect of life. Here’s how it can show up in creating more visibility, specifically:
You Show Up More Consistently
Consistency is what everyone knows matters, yet almost nobody can sustain long-term…and most people assume that’s a discipline problem.
It’s usually not.
Consistency is about capacity. When your nervous system is chronically in recovery mode—from stress, overdelivering, decision fatigue, the general chaos of running a business—showing up regularly starts to feel heroic instead of normal. So you do it in bursts, then disappear, then feel guilty about disappearing, which makes showing up again even harder.
When you build regulation as a skill, your baseline for how (and how often) you show up shifts. The energy required to post, to pitch, to put yourself out there stops being a ‘pouring from an empty cup’ moment, and becomes a ‘pouring the amount I had budgeted for this activity’ experience.
It becomes a clear choice with a contained plan around it – both for the task at hand and for your system’s capacity. Sustainable visibility is the only kind that compounds.
People Can Feel the Difference
This one surprises people, but there’s real science behind it: regulated nervous systems are contagious (and honestly, magnetic). Have you ever been in a room with someone who immediately makes you feel at ease? It’s almost like magic – and whether that room is IRL or digital, the effect is the same.
I’ll call myself out, and maybe you’ve been in this situation too: I’ve posted what I think I ‘should’ post in the hope of growing a social account, getting accolades or fitting my content into trends. And it never.paid.off.
On the flip side, in flashes of honesty or vulnerability, when I’ve spoken straight from truth or lived right in line with my values…inevitably what I share is received completely differently.
Know this: the people you’re trying to reach can feel whether you’re actually settled or just performing as settled.
In a sales conversation, a podcast interview, a networking event, or even in the comment section of a LinkedIn post, there’s a quality to someone who is genuinely grounded. It’s not polish, but presence.
And presence is what makes someone memorable, makes a pitch land and turns a media appearance from forgettable to shareable.
You can’t manufacture it…but you can build it.
You Step Up to What Scares You, Instead Of Shrinking From It
Here’s the pattern I see most often with high-achieving entrepreneurs: they do all the right things to set up a visibility moment—they write the post, prep for the interview, draft the pitch—then something happens *just* before the finish line.
They soften the strong statement, or add three more qualifiers. They save a could-be-viral post to drafts, or decide something needs “just a bit more work.”
While we can label it a bunch of different ways (perfectionism, self doubt, overthinking…you get the gist), here’s what’s under it all: a dysregulated nervous system that’s not fully safe feeling seen.
Regulation closes the gap between what you know and what you actually say out loud. It’s what lets you put the true, specific, slightly-scary version of your idea into the world instead of the safer, more vanilla edit of it.
And the true, ‘more you’ version? That’s the one people double tap on, drop into your DMs about, comment on or share. That’s the one that resonates; that hits people in the ‘whoa – me too – I thought I was alone in this’ kinda place.
A Tool to Start Your Regulating Routine
Wondering what’s one way you can start to shift your confidence and be more consistent at following through on the tasks you’re avoiding? Start here:
- Watch for a moment when you can see you’re procrastinating from doing or all together avoiding a task, action or activity
- Tune into your body; when you think about doing those ‘challenging’ tasks…
- Where do you feel it in your body?
- What thoughts do you associate with the task, or the outcome?
- When you can sense it in your body or hear it in your thoughts, take a 4 count inhale through your nose, and a 6-8 count exhale through your nose or mouth (you choose what’s situationally appropriate for where you’re sitting/standing). Repeat 3-4 times until you feel your body start to settle, and your thoughts start to quiet (60-90 second should be enough to nip the reaction in the bud)
- Only then, when you feel your body steady itself, start to remember your goals, commitments, vision, values; the you-centric truths that guide you in your business and how you show up in the world
- Ask yourself: what am I more committed to – the story of what ifs + things outside my control, or leaning into what I can control (effort, alignment) and doing my best?
- Then, take one small step. If it still feels too big, make your first step smaller. Your nervous system needs to see you move, even if it’s a millimeter at a time; it’s how you grow capacity for the tough stuff (like getting visible when it feels vulnerable)
Build Visibility From the Inside Out
The work I do with entrepreneurs isn’t just about slowing down (unless you’re rushing past every feeling and need a pause) or adding another practice to your morning routine (unless you don’t have one…then yeah, we’ll go there).
It’s about building the internal infrastructure that makes your external efforts actually land.
To get more folks feeling steady, more themselves and more ready to be seen, I created The Rewire; a 10-week group coaching experience aimed at arming folks with the self awareness, regulation + high performance skills to help them show up sustainably as the steadiest version of themselves in the places that matter most.
It’s launching May 26, and in this kind of a small group, high-touch setting, you’re bound to start seeing subtle—then incredibly tangible—shifts in how you handle things that used to make you wobble, how you move towards the parts of your PR + media strategy you used to procrastinate against, and how boldly you take up space, create magnetic attention and do it all in a sustainable, capacity-aware way.
It’s designed for people who are already capable, already working hard, and ready to stop leaving visibility on the table because their inner systems are quietly working against them.
If that sounds like you, I’d love to connect. Find me at www.jessicarobson.com or on Instagram at @jessrobson.
